kismet
by mishkaeci
Summary: witness how Kenshin confess his love to Kaoru


Chapter 1

'So beautiful' Kaoru thought as she stretched her arms in the air. She just woke up form a nice dream. Slowly she arranged herself and stood up. She started to fix her futon and get dressed with her favorite purple kimono accented with pink flowers printed on it. 'This is going to be a beautiful day for me' she thought as she slid open the shoji of her room.

Kaoru made a thorough circuit around the dojo and spotted Kenshin hanging the newly washed clothes. "Ohayou Kenshin!" as she blinked her eyes with happiness. 'Such a beautiful sunrise with his purple eyes to look up to.' She thought admiringly. Kenshin stopped from what he is doing and look back at her. "Ohayou Kauro-dono!" Kaoru then walked inside the dojo to prepare the food for their breakfast. As Kenshin watched her from afar, he smiled and thought 'Oh, Kami-Sama, thank you for giving her to me.'

Kenshin had been living with Kaoru with the rest of the gang for almost three months already. And he had been delighted from the thought that he was no longer a rurouni searching for a home to rest and live with. Kaoru accepted him with no consideration and hesitation at all. Same as with Yahiko and Sanosuke. Kaoru treated them as if they were her family. No matter what their past is and no matter how bad they were in the past, Kaoru still loved them unconditionally. Sometimes he would think that he's unworthy one to be accepted by someone as good as Kaoru but whenever he says this in front of her, she would automatically poke his head and say 'Kenshin no baka! Who told you that?!' He smiles every time he remembers this. He really likes Kaoru whenever she pokes him on the head, get angry about her cooking and flash her death-glare aquamarine blue eyes at him. 'She's just lovely and strong woman. I could never afford to lose her…. She's my life..'

Few moments passed. "Kenshin, Yahiko, Sanosuke! Breakfast is ready!" Kaoru yelled outside by the window. "Oi, Busu! Make sure this thing won't ruin my stomach again!" Yahiko exclaimed at her. "Eh! Yahiko-chan! If you don't like my cooking, then don't eat and starve to death!" Kaoru answered him. Yahiko was left with no choice at all but to eat what Kaoru prepared. He thought of going to Akebeko but he had no money to pay for Tae-san. "Kaoru-dono, your cooking is improving!" Kenshin said as he smiled at her. "Arigatou Kenshin!" Kaoru answered him as she forced herself to smile back at him. "Masaka!" Sanosuke shouted. "Who told you that it's improving? Hah!..it doesn't seem to me! Jou-chan you should practice your cooking for Ken-san to like you, ne Kenshin? No wonder Kenshin and this Tomoe-san last a little longer…eh..ah..forget what I said!" as he notice Kenshin's eyes stared at him telling him to stop and continue to nibble the food in his mouth. Kaoru fidgeted a little "D-demo…I practiced countless time for my cooking to be good…" as she bowed her head and tried to hide her frowning face. Kenshin instantly notice this and asked her "douka shita no Kaoru-dono?" but she just went silence. Sanosuke and Yahiko exchanged glances. "Sumanu, Jou-chan..we did not mean to hurt you…" Sanosuke said as he tapped Yahiko's shoulder signaling him to ask her for forgiveness. "Sumanu, Busu..eh..Kaoru.." Kaoru then lifted her head and gave them a big fat laughter "HAHAHA! I was just kidding around but then I've got you all fooled, you must eat all the food I've prepared for you! I want every single piece eaten!!! HAHAHA!!!" as she stood up and started to walk away with her boisterous laughter. "What's gotten into her?" Sanosuke nudged Kenshin. "That Busu is freaking weird sometimes!" Yahiko complained as he continues to eat. Kenshin just smiled back at them and started to wonder. 'She's acting weird lately..Something is bothering her…I just don't know what and till when..'

Kaoru went to her room right just after the breakfast. She had made Sanosuke wash the dishes and Kenshin to play with ayame-san and suzume-san. Good for Yahiko, she made him practice till lunch. 'What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my cooking to be related with Kenshin? And what was Tomoe-san got to do with Kenshin liking me?' Kaoru fighting back the tears, she leaned back from the door of her room. Slowly she sat and let her tears fall from her eyes. 'I thought this is going to be a beautiful day for me…That dream gave me such full of hope with somebody who can really love me unconditionally..' Kaoru hugged her legs and placed her head right just above her arms. 'I just want to be with someone who loves me from what I am..I've been so alone for so many years and I want someone who will be there for me and never leave my side..' Kaoru was a lonely girl since Miharu left her…Her mother who was always been there for her. Who taught her to be a strong person and never let anyone pull her down. After Miharu died she was taken care by her father. Her family owned a school and it was called Kamiya Kashiin Ryu. But it didn't take long for her father to live and he also died five years ago in Seinan War. She was left with a promise to her father that she will take care of Kashiin Ryu and take back the honor of the school that was gone many years ago. That's why when she met Kenshin and made him live with her in the dojo she thought 'Finally, I will never be alone.' After she met the rurouni, she met this hardheaded pickpocket boy Yahiko and made him a learner in her school. She also thought to herself way back then was 'A new student of kashiin ryu.' Kaoru then lifted her head and watched the beautiful sunny day, listening to the sweet chirping of the birds. 'I miss you okaasan…the beautiful of the sunrise is just like your name Miharu..Please give me strength to face this…otousan, I promised you to bring back the honor of kashiin ryu..but please help me…tasukete Kami-Sama..' As Kaoru peeped outside from her window she saw Kenshin playing with Ayame-san and suzume-san. 'Kenshin have this soft-hearted side despite that he was known as the Hitokiri-Battoussai.' Kaoru suddenly remembered how many times Kenshin made her feel secured. From the thought of it, she wiped her tears away from her face and she stood up and said to herself "Hai! I'm not going to give up now..I have friends to turn to . I don't want them to worry about me.".and she slid the shoji open and went to Yahiko to check if he's doing the Kashiin ryu right.

            "Oi! Yahiko-chan! What are you doing? Didn't I tell you to swing that bokutou the right angle for you to have a good composure? You're not doing it right!" Kaoru poked him on the head. "Yamero Busu! That hurts! I did what you told me, you just didn't see it right on time and don't you call me chan I'm old enough to be called that way!" yahiko exclaimed at her. "So you're telling me that I'm not a good observer huh?!?! I'm your sensei and I know everything understand?! And why shouldn't I call you chan? You're still a boy!!" Kaoru answered him back. As they continue to fight with bokutou Kenshin made his appearance because of Ayame-san and Suzume-san's noise. "Eh, Kenshin why would't you tell Busu that I'm old enough to be called chan?" yahiko said to him. "Dame kenshin or you'll get me throw this bokutou to you!" Kaoru wailed at him. "Ano..Kaoru-dono and Yahiko-chan I just went here to watch you..don't mind me." Kenshin explained to them. "Oniichan Kenshin, let's just play outside because the sun is good for our health..ne?" Ayame-san told him. "Sou de gozaru ka?" Kenshin asked Suzume-san. "Hai! Oneechan kaoru told us that ne Oneechan Kaoru?" suzume-san asked Kaoru. She then stopped and looked at Suzume. "Aa, Kenshin. Just bring them outside and play with them before they learn what bad attitude yahiko is doing here." Kaoru said. "Hai Kaoru-dono! Datte, I'll be the one to cook lunch because I know you'll be tired after you teach Yahiko kashiin ryu" Kenshin smiled at her. "Arigatou Ken-san!" Kaoru answered him with a smile. As Kenshin started to walk with suzume-san and Ayame-san he thought 'She is so beautiful every time she smiles back at me…you're so important to me my hime-chan…'

Lunch came and Kenshin had made them their lunch. It was a beautiful scene. Together they were having fun and not worrying about the time. The Kamiya dojo is now getting its lively aura compared ten years ago. Back then Kaoru was alone but now she have company that made her feel so secured. Those people who is now her new family through out her life. Kaoru observe everyone while they were eating. They were in front of the porch of the dojo. As the cold wind brushed her temples she looked at Kenshin's handsome face. She never thought that this man who is also known as Hitokiri-Battoussai would affect her in a different way that she could not understand how. He was good to her. Always making her feel so important and fragile. She doesn't know what is happening to her this past few days but she feels so attached with Kenshin. That she don't want Kenshin to leave her side. 'Those scars on his face shows his past and the present. The Hitokiri and the rurouni. I wonder what he feels right now about living here with me in the dojo..I don't want you to leave Kenshin..Oh, right! Here I go again..Iya! I shouldn't feel this way towards him..we're just friends…only friends…' Kaoru didn't notice that she's not touching her food. Everyone was almost finished with their food except her. Kenshin is observing her from the moment she stopped eating and dozed off from her thoughts. 'Kaoru's thinking again..I wonder what it is. She's so beautiful..those aquamarine blue eyes and that sweet jasmine scent of her made me fall for her even more..But I am not worthy of her.. I have so much to atone for that I can't let her be part of it..If I stay longer here I will just put them in danger..Oh, Kami-Sama I want her datte..i can't have her. What should I do? Tasukete…' "Oi! You two! Kenshin and Kaoru! What happened to the two of you huh?!?!? You're like zombies there not touching your food and daydreaming! Aren't you hungry? Oi!" as sanosuke said while waving his hands in front of their eyes. "oh, I'm sorry…ano.. I am not that hungry…" Kaoru explained. "Ano.. I'm full that's why…" Kenshin fidgeted a little. "Ah-huh..I feel something is going on here ne Yahiko?" Sano asked. "Don't mind them Sano. Let's just eat. I'm hungry because of the lesson Busu taught me awhile ago!" "Hai! After this I have to go to Megitsune for my hand's check-up"

            After lunch, Kenshin wash the dishes and Kaoru made them dry. They are not speaking to each other. All they have is the endless silence between them. 'What's gotten into us? Why isn't he talking to me? What is he thinking..looks like he's in the deep thinking.' Kaoru thought as she continues to dry the plates. 'I want to have her. All I do is to look at her from afar and never tell her what I feel. I just feel it's not right…' Kenshin thought. Kaoru can't take anymore what's happening between them. She's not used to it because they are friends. "Ei, Kenshin! What do you say we go outside and take a little walk? I also want to visit my favorite tree beside the river bank..the Cherry blossoms" she asked him. Kenshin was shocked from what she had just offered her. 'It was three weeks since we've visited her favorite tree. That was the time I left her to face Shishio.' "Well, it's been a long time since I've inhaled those sweet fragrance of cherry blossoms. Hai! Kaoru-dono after we finish cleaning the dishes." Kenshin answered her. As Kaoru heard this she gave Kenshin her sweetest smile. Those made Kenshin shiver like an electricity shot through his spinal cord.

They walked side by side along the streets of Tokyo. Not minding the people around them. What they just cared is that they're together in that beautiful sunny day. Kaoru decided that she would just love Kenshin in silence. She will not tolerate her feelings any longer because she didn't want their friendship be ruined by her nonsense feelings. They've been friends for a long time and to think that the guy has been so good to her and so honest with what he feels is enough for her to treasure. She could not ask for more. She didn't asked Kenshin to stay with her and never leave her alone but he did it with no hesitations at all. That was all Kaoru wants. A little of him is enough. Though she learned to treasure him more and to love every bit of him. 'He's such a good person inside and out. Aishiteru Kenshin but I don't want to hurt you..I feel like I'm no deserving girl for you… no replacement for Tomoe-san… I will just love you this way.. No one knows but me..only me..' Kaoru whispered in her heart as she looked quietly at her handsome friend. They did not know that they're just in the same page right now. What could possibly be wrong with friends that fall in love? At last they came at their favorite spot in Tokyo. It was nearly sun set when they came there. They just sat there for hours savoring the cozy scene. "I remember when I was just a child, Okaasan would always bring me here and made me necklace from cherry. We always had fun before..but that was long gone now..but will always stay in my heart..." Kaoru began, she didn't intend to get so emotional that afternoon but it was too late. "D-demo…" She trailed off. "Daijoubu Kaoru-dono..It's just me. You can tell me anything. We're friends right?" Kenshin said a little bit worried. "D-demo..these past few days I felt so alone..You know Kenshin, I've been so alone for so many years already but it didn't bother me that much since that dream…" Kaoru fight back the tears. "Douka shita no?..What dream Kao-" "Iya! Let's not talk about it!" Kaoru instantly stopped him from asking. "Doushite Kaoru-dono? Did I say something wrong to make you upset? Sumanu for asking too much…" Kenshin he said soothingly. "Sumanu Kenshin…Daijoubu. I know we're friends and should tell you what is bothering me..demo..there are some things that is better not be touched." Kaoru told him. "Demo..are you sure you're all right Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked. "Zeattai ni gozaru" Kaoru assured him. "I'm just here if you need anything..Like I've always been Kaoru-dono." Kenshin whispered to her as he looked intently into her blue eyes. "Hai! Kenshin..Arigatou for everything. I know you've always been here for me and so I want to do the same with you." Kaoru smiled at him. As the wind blew with the cherry blossoms beautifully dancing in the air Kenshin thought. 'I know there's something bothering you hime-chan. I know also you've been so alone for so many years that's why I'm here..if you just let me in into your heart..aishiteru my hime-chan.' They didn't notice the sun has already gone and slowly the stars are making their appearance in the velvety night sky. Kaoru slowly stood up and said "Eh, Kenshin! Let's go home, it's getting late." "Hai Kaoru-dono" Kenshin answered her as he stood and walk behind Kaoru. Watching her from afar like he always does. 'Kami-Sama help us..'

Chapter 2

            Gazing up in the velvety night sky. Kenshin made himself comfortable in his futon. He's thinking about what just happened to Kaoru a while ago. From the moment they came home, Kaoru began to act differently that he's the only one who noticed. Though she made an awfully remark at Yahiko by the way he complained again with her cooking, Kenshin knows she's just pretending to be happy. Though Kaoru made it a better one he knows that she's been bothered by something she wouldn't tell him. Kenshin knows her better than anyone else did. 'I don't know what to do for her to feel ok. I want to help her but she won't tell me..she won't even let me know what bothers her.' Kenshin thought as he remembered one time when they had a talk in front of the porch of the dojo. They were drinking tea that time and watching the raindrops fall. Kaoru's face that time was steady and slowly he noticed her eyes were welling up with tears. "You know, Kenshin when my parents died and left me alone I didn't take it very easy like some people do. Till now I'm haunted with pain every time I remember it. But when all of you came and became my new family here in the dojo, all the pain slowly begins to heal. I've learned that it's meant to be that my parents left me. That people didn't intend to stay with us forever, they are just given a short time to give us something. A gift, a lesson we need to learn and that was my parent's gift to me, to be a strong woman and learn to be independent. That's why when you came I don't ask you to stay with me forever because I know there is nothing called forever. I just have to treasure you while you're here with me and be my friend. Arigatou Kenshin." Kaoru said as she wiped her tears away from her face. She forced to smile to him. Kenshin just stared at her admiringly. He never thought of such slim girl and look so fragile could be so strong form inside. But sometimes could be so weak because of her terrible past. ' How could she take all her pain with such unconditional understanding and put a humor on it. She doesn't make it seriously affect her?' "Some people would say that I'm not totally affected by it because I always smile. They thought I'm happy but they do not know that I'm doing that for myself and for the people who care about me. I don't want them to worry about me. It's like the raindrops is my tears but after that, sun would come and a rainbow appears that was given by the people who's there for me to support me all the way. The one who gives me strength to go on and not give up and that was my new family in Kamiya dojo.." She said with her smile as she looked into his eyes. Now it is not a pretend anymore but comes from the heart. From that moment, Kenshin promised to himself that he would protect this girl for the rest of his life. Kenshin fidgeted a little and look up at the stars that are shining brightly in the night. 'Kaoru didn't know what effect she had on me since the day we met. She didn't know how she made me change into a better person compared ten years ago. She gave me so many reasons to live and continue to go on with my life. Way back then I thought life was over for me because of my sins but she made me understand that it's no use to give up instead I should atone for my sins to have a better life ahead. She is the reason why I'm staying here in the dojo. She is now my life. I want to protect her with all that I can do and all that I have.' Kenshin sighed at the thought. Kenshin have been thinking for hours that he didn't notice he dozed off to sleep. 

Kenshin is walking through the streets of Tokyo, he didn't know where he's headed to but his feet brought him to their favorite spot. The tree of cherry blossoms. He was just about to approach the riverbank when suddenly he was stopped by strong wind then all of a sudden he was transported to another time. The time that he was still in the mode of Hitokiri-Battousai. He was slaying thousands of innocent people that time. He just stared there, with his body frozen didn't know what to do. Blood was everywhere and endless cries of the innocent people he was slaying with his sword. For an instant it stopped and then she came. A girl dressed in finely made kimono and her long black hair was pulled back with ultramarine silk into a ribbon. Her blue eyes were pouring endless teardrops down her cheeks. She was asking the Battousai to stop but the guy didn't mind her instead he lift his sword and ready to slay her. Kenshin can't take what's happening and so he runs toward them planning to stop the guy to kill the girl. "Please stop it! Don't kill her!" He shouted but it's too late, the girl already collapsed in the ground with her blood covering her half body. "Nooooo!!!!!" "Kenshin! Wake Up!" Kaoru nudge him repeatedly. Kenshin was covered with sweat when she came. Moments passed Kenshin's eyes flickered open. "no-" he ended panting with relief and woke up. 'It was just a dream..a very bad dream.' He thought as he saw Kaoru seating beside him looking at him worried. "Kenshin, you've been dreaming and shouting for hours." Kaoru said as she soothingly tapping his back.. "Daijoubu Kenshin..I'm here.." She continued to whisper and she hugged him. After a few moments of comfort they pulled back.  Kenshin just look at her not wanting her to leave his side. He had been so afraid from the dream he just had. She shrugged for a moment then she asked, "Kenshin are you going to be okay now or you want me to get you a glass of water?" "Daijoubu Kaoru-dono, I'm fine now. You can go and rest now. I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep. Arigatou for waking me up into that bad dream." Kenshin said as he forced a little smile in his lips. "Hai! Kenshin, just call me if you need anything ok? See you tomorrow! Oyasuminasai!" she said as she gathers herself and stood up. "Oyasuminasai Kaoru-dono!" Kenshin answered her as he sat in his futon. He wiped his face with a clean towel. 'What was that all about? What was that dream meaning to say to me? Iya.. That was me ten years ago.." Kenshin shivered a lot more at the thought. He was crying that moment. His past again haunted him more now than ever. He thought it's all over. Those dreams were long gone since he moved in with Kaoru and live with her. He was scared of what might happen. 'I don't want to go back in that Battousai mode again.. I will just hurt Kaoru..I don't want anything or someone hurt her, especially me…' He thought as he slowly dozed off again to sleep.

Morning came with a beautiful sunrise. Kenshin woke up late that morning because of his bad dream that he didn't get enough sleep last night. Kaoru had gone to the market to buy veggies for their breakfast. As Kenshin woke up and arranged his futon he remembered his dream. 'Iya! I will forget that dream. I will not let it affect me; in fact it was all a dream. It's not real!' He slid open his door and hear Yahiko's complaining about breakfast. "Where is that Busu gone to? She said she would just buy some veggies for the breakfast. What she took so long? I'm starving to death!" "Eh Yahiko, don't worry she'll be home in any minute just wait there." Kenshin said as he inhaled the clean morning air. "Kenshin, Kaoru's gone two hours already and she's not back. She only ought to buy some veggies." Yahiko explained. " Honto ni Yahiko?" Kenshin looked at him worried. "Hai! Kenshin." Kenshin instantly changed his mood and start to worry and walk around the dojo back and forth. "Eh Kenshin, I didn't mean to make you worry about Busu. Maybe she's headed home right not. Don't get too worried ok?" Yahiko said as he practiced bukutou. Kenshin made no answer instead he just stared at the gate of the dojo. 'What took her so long to get home? I'm getting worried about her.'  Moments had passed and Kaoru isn't home yet. Kenshin walked inside to change into his gi and get his sakabatou to follow Kaoru to the market. 'I'm not just going to wait here. I'm going to check her.' As soon as he's about to open the shoji of his door he heard her familiar voice. "Tadaima!" Kaoru shouted as she put down the bag of veggies on the floor. She's making the dirt off of her slippers by wiping it on the tatami infront of the dojo's door. "Oi! Busu! What took you so long to buy that veggies?! Don't you know how hungry I am and how made you worry Kenshin too much?" Yahiko exclaimed at her. "Gomen-nasai Kenshin for making you worry. I just happen to look at the shop near the Akebeko that's why it took me so long to get home." Kaoru explained to Kenshin. "Daijoubu Kaoru-dono. Let me have that veggies, I will be the one to cook breakfast." Kenshin smiled back at her. "Hai Kenshin! I'll just wash this clean. Eh, Yahiko-chan! You go wipe the floor and hang the newly washed clothes!" Kaoru said. "Maa..maa.. Just make sure that our breakfast is good ok?" Yahiko said as he walks away.

The day is going well till Sanosuke just barged in the dojo and shouted "Kenshin! I've got something for you! This is not good!" "What is it Sano you're freaking at?" Kaoru asked him. "What is it Sano?" Kenshin asked. "On my way home to my apartment some of this villain just stood in front of me. At first I thought they're asking for a fight but instead they just gave me this letter and ask me to deliver this to you right away." Sanosuke explained panting as he gave the piece of paper to Kenshin. Kenshin took it and open it. It says, "Hitokiri-Battousai I know where you are. I know who makes you happy this past few days. I'll give you one week to prepare for a fight. Come meet me at the riverbank. If you don't make you appearance, I will take her way from you and make sure she'll be dead in front of your eyes. Signed: Enishi" As soon as Kenshin finished reading, his gentle purple eyes changed to hitokiri red eyes. Kaoru, who had been beside him and read what was written, slowly stood up and said. "I'll just go get something in my room." Then she walked away. Sanosuke and Yahiko were quiet at that time. Kenshin finally stood up and stared at the sky. His face was full of emotions and that was anger. "What are we going to do now?" Sano began. "What could possibly Enishi want?" Yahiko wondered. "He wants revenge." Kenshin whispered. "Revenge? For what?" Yahiko exclaimed. "Yahiko, not revenge for what but revenge for who?" Sanosuke corrected him. Kaoru who was jus silently listening inside her room. ' Aa, for who? And what's that letter supposed to mean? Who makes Kenshin happy this past few days?' she wondered with jealousy in her heart. She stopped thinking as she heard Kenshin speak. "A revenge for his sister's death..for Tomoe-san." "Masaka! You killed Tomoe?" Sanosuke yelled. "Iya. Tomoe-san let herself be killed instead of me. She was the one who gave me this x-mark scar before she died. Enishi saw all what happened that stormy snow. That's why he wants revenge because her sister would not be dead if it wasn't for me." Kenshin explained. As soon as Kaoru heard this, slowly her tears start to overflow her eyes. "So, that's why…but what's the letter supposed to mean? That he knows who makes you happy this past few days?" Yahiko asked. "Yahiko, don't you have that common sense? Of course it's Kaoru that makes him happy ne Kenshin?" Sanosuke said as he looks up to Kenshin. "Masaka! I thought she's the one who likes you! How could you love such Busu that always yelling at the top of her lungs?" Yahiko complained. "You wouldn't understand Yahiko unless you have that feeling." Sanosuke whispered. Karou who was crying in her room didn't believe in what she had just heard. 'That couldn't be.. I thought..' Kenshin slowly sat and stare at the beautiful sunrise. "In my ten years of being a rurouni, I didn't know what's the meaning of love. Since Tomoe-san died I thought she's going to be the last in my life. After that I only have revenge and anguish in my heart. I really hate myself then and I never learned how to forgive someone especially myself. I was lonely and don't know what to do or where to go. I ask Tomoe-san to guide me as I wander. I loved Tomoe because she's the calmness in the center of the storm She made my life center again. She's the first woman I had loved in my life but that was ten years ago…" 'So it's Tomoe-san who makes you happy Kenshin..' Kaoru thought as she cried a little bit harder. "But when Kaoru came everything changed. She made me see through all my pains. She's as strong as the wind in the summer. I thought I could never love again after Tomoe died but when I met her with her strong personality it made me feel like I'm a new person again. She accepted me with no conditions at all. She knows who I am, the past and the present and always made me feel that anyone can start over from a terrible past. She always believed in me, always understand me in many ways. She didn't care what my past is instead what she only cared is what I am now, how I changed into a better person because of her…Demo.." Kenshin tried to continue but words wouldn't come out his mouth. Sanosuke then look at him and asked. "But what Kenshin? You can't tell her because you're afraid that you might hurt her?" Yahiko who was just listening and trying not to ask too much questions. He didn't understand it all but somehow it made him feel very good at the thought that yes, Kaoru accepted all of them no matter how terrible their past was. He just stared at Kenshin as he continued. Kaoru who was crying thousands of tears in her room stopped and thought. 'What is it stopping you Kenshin?' Why didn't you tell me? What are you afraid of?' "Demo..I can't have her. Hai, I'm afraid that I might just hurt her and I might just bring her danger in her life. I have so many sins to atone for and I don't want her to be a part of it. She had suffered so much pain in the past that I don't want her to feel that once again from me. She's so important to me that I can't afford to lose her. It's better this way..for us to be just friends. I'll just love her in silence like I always do..and protect her with all that I have and can. That's why Enishi gave this letter to me. He knows about Kaoru. He knows how I treasure her." Kenshin finished. Sanosuke who was seating beside him noticed a tear fall from his eyes. But Kenshin made no move and didn't mind him. "Ken-" Kenshin immediately stood up and stopped Sano from asking. "I will think of a plan. Sano you're coming with me but Yahiko you stay here and be with Kaoru." Then he slowly walks away. Kaoru fidgeted a little in her position. Nervously playing with her hands. She's been aching for hours and her eyes are swollen from tears. She rested her head in her up drawn knees, snuggling her check into the soft, well-worn material draped over them as she sought solace from her disquiet. She tried to shake it off. From what she just heard a while ago it came to her. 'He's afraid that I might encounter pain again through him. So he will just hide it from me and we'll be just like this forever. Loving each other in silence and when we meet each other's eyes, pretend to be just..friends. Iya! I'm not going to let that happen. I will not repeat the same mistake again. I will not let this opportunity pass like I did with Keisuke before. He died not knowing what I felt. That leaves me with so much regrets and hatred to myself.' She stood up and wiped her tears away. She fixed her kimono and brushes her long black silky hair into a high ponytail with her favorite ultramarine silk scarf. 'One week is what I have to let him know that there is someone who will wait for him to come home here in the dojo. One week to let him know that I love him so much..only one week.' 

She walked out in her room. As she walks through the hallway of the dojo she spotted Kenshin drinking tea staring at the beautiful sunrise. For a while she just stood there watching his handsome form. Moments later Kaoru then began "Yatta! What a beautiful sunrise today ne Kenshin?" "Hai Kaoru-dono! Would you like sitting beside me and having some tea?" Kenshin turned his back at her. Kaoru nodded and started to approach him and slowly she sat beside him. Kaoru sighed. "Douka shita no?" Kenshin asked as he looked at Kaoru's face. "Daijoubu Kenshin. This day feels so right to me. I mean, it's like a new beginning to me." Kaoru said as she sipped tea from her cup. "Sou de gozaru ka?" Kenshin asked. Kaoru just smiled back at him as an answer. At that Kenshin thought 'I'm really worried about Enishi's letter. How could he know? I tried to hide it but…' "Kamiya-dojo is now having its lively aura compared ten years ago and I want you to know that this is your home Kenshin." Kaoru said seriously. "Hai Kaoru-dono." Kenshin smiled. "If ever you have to leave, you will always have a home to return to…" she said as she fight back the tears. "Douka shita no Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin said as he reaches her shoulder to face him. "..soshite..i will always wait for you to come home.." Kaoru's tears began to pour down her cheeks. "Kaoru please tell me what's wrong?" Kenshin asked worriedly. "Kenshin I-I've been m-meaning to t-tell y-you this…" her voice too garbled by sobs to speak. "What is it?" he said with his eyes with so much emotion. He didn't know what to do. A while ago they were having peaceful talk then suddenly all had been changed. He moved closer to her and strokes her temples to wipe her tears away. "It's just me Kaoru-dono, you can tell me anything. I will listen." 'Should I tell him? Why did I let my tears fall that easily? Baka! Iya! I have to tell him before it's too late. Remember Kaoru you only have one week to let him know what you feel.' She sighed. She looked up into Kenshin's eyes and began to speak. "Since I've met you and live with me here in the dojo everything went right. I never thought you'd be important to me. You always have the way to make me feel secured. You always made me feel all right whenever I'm down. I thought when my parents left me I will be alone till the rest of my life but then you came and change it all. Kenshin Aisheteru." 'There I've said it!' Kaoru thought. Kenshin was shocked at what she just confessed to him. He never thought she would fall for him. He, the Hitokiri-Battousai and the rurouni. He only puts her into danger and yet she loves him with no fear at all. He never thought that this would happen. But he can't. 'I love you too my hime-chan demo I will only bring you danger.' Kenshin thought. Slowly he placed his gentle hands to her hands though he felt that Kaoru fidgeted a little from what he'd done. "Kaoru, you've accepted all of me. The hitokiri and the rurouni and I thank you for all of that demo..you shouldn't love me because I will only bring you danger. I don't want to cause you more pains. You've been all through that before. I don't want to hurt you Kaoru-dono. I want to protect you with all that I can. I don't want the past to color the present. I have so many sins to atone for and I don't want you to be a part of it. I want to protect you from pain it might cause you. Sessha is too stained..for you to deserve him." Kenshin then was crying. She never thought that a man that is so strong is crying in front of her. He had been hiding this for so long. 'Yes it hurt too much to hide this but I'd rather hide it than to hurt you koishii' "Kenshin no Baka! I don't care about you past! I don't care if you're Hitokiri before. What I care about is how you changed for the better. Into a great person inside and out. You can't protect me from pain because it's normal to have one. You don't have to be worthy of me because we've suffered the same pain before. When I started to love you I didn't look at how you lived your life before. You don't know but you have this kind of heart that's full of passion into something. You have this softhearted side and you always made your promises be done. That's what I love about you. You always put others first before yourself. You always think about us. I know all the pain you've been hiding there inside your heart. Those tears are the symbols of fears you have…" as she wipe his tears with her fingers. "Sessha-" "Shhh..You don't have to say anything. My only concern is how it hurts you. You always make me feel better than ages and so I want to do the same to you. I've never wanted anything but you, all of you. The light and the dark. The rurouni and all his shadows..Aishiteru Kenshin."she said as she lifted her finger to his lips.Tears still streaming down her cheeks unchecked. She waited, eyes closed for his reaction. Kenshin smiled and hugged her slowly. Kaoru was shocked from what he'd done but he easily made it comfortable for her. 'I wanted this for so long..' Kaoru thought as she savored the feeling of being in Kenshin's arms. He kissed her forehead and looked into her deep blue ocean eyes "Aishiteru Kaoru-dono." "Honto ni?" whispered through his ear. "Zettai ni de gozaru." Kenshin answered. She sobbed once in response before burying her face on his chest, crying this time with relief. After a few moments of safe, love and tranquility they pulled back. And Kenshin began "Kaoru-dono-" "Dame!" Kaoru said as she looked intently at his purple eyes. "Don't call me dono.." "Doushite?" Kenshin asked as he reached to tenderly brush a stray of hair out of her eyes. "Because..because..it sounds so cold, so distant and so detached." She said in a low voice. "Sumanu, Kaoru..Kaoru-koishii.." He said as he springkled her with butterfly kisses in her eyes to brush away her tears. Like he was removing all her pain buried in her heart. Kenshin felt so right that moment as she snuggled herself closer to him. He put his arms around her. How close they were. As he inhaled the sweet scent of jasmine of her hair he thought 'It's been a long time since I've felt this way. I've waited too long for this to happen demo..i never thought this would actually happen. That was just all a dream but now..here..is the reality.' Suddenly the Enishi thing flashed back in his mind then he pulled away. "Douka shita no Kenshin? You're thinking about Enishi's threat to us ne?" Kaoru a little bit startled. "Koishii…demo.. I have to leave.." His words trailed off. "I know that Kenshin but..it doesn't have to be now ne? You have one week to prepare right?" she asked. "Hai Koishii demo.."she moved closer to him and brushed her lips to his and have a passionate kiss. "If you leave, you will always have a home to return to and I will always be here waiting for your lips to kiss me again and say to me that you love me…I will always welcome you home.." She said as she traces his scar of his face with her eyes full of love. "Hai Koishii. I promise to return when this is over. When Enishi has been answered." He hugged her with all his might and whispered to her "Aisthiteru with all of my life Kaoru-Kamiya. My hime-chan." And then he pulled back and again he kissed her and this time with all of his love pouring into it. 'Sessha mo Kenshin..Kami-sama please let him stay with me…' Kaoru thought as she savored their passionate kiss.

                                                                                                            ~kaeci~

                                                                                                            April 10, 2004

Index of Japanese terms:

            aa-yes

            aishiteru-I love you

            baka-idiot,stupid

            doushite-why

            koishii-beloved,darling,wanted

            sessha-kenshin's style, "unworthy one"

            sumanu-sorry

gomen nasai-I'm sorry

zettai ni de gozaru-absolutely, unconditionally, positively

dame-stop, don't

arigatou-thank you

daijobou-it's all right

demo-but

hai-yes

kami-sama-God

ne-right?

Sou de gozaru ka?-is that so?

Tasukete-help me

Soshite-and

Douka shita no?-what's wrong, what's the matter

Iya-no

            Oyasuminasai-goodnight

            Ohayou-goodmorning

            Okaasan-mother

            Otousan-father

            Oniichan-older brother

            Oneechan-older sister

            Sessha mo-me too

Bokutou-wooden sword

Maa,maa-now,now

Datte-but

 Shoji-paper and wood sliding door

Tatami-a weaved thick fiber mat used as a type of rug

Yatta-ge. Exclamation of delight or satisfaction

Masaka-impossible

Honto ni?-really?                                                                                              


End file.
